Letting Go of "Painful Love": Understanding Codependency to Reclaim Your True Self

Hi there! I'm Aries Yoko, your fortune teller and psychological counselor.

"I can't live without that person." "Without me, that person will fall apart."

Do you ever feel "painful but unable to leave" in a relationship with a specific person? This might be a state of "Codependency," where you excessively depend on each other. Today, I’ll talk about how it works and give you hints to live more easily.

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🫂 What Exactly is Codependency?

Codependency is a state where you "find your own value in taking care of or being needed by a specific person."

At first glance, it may look like selfless devotion. However, by trying to control the other person or taking responsibility for their troubles, you might actually be hindering their independence. Your kindness of "not being able to ignore someone in trouble" is simply manifesting as a form of dependence on the other person.

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⚖️ Does This Apply to You? Codependency Checklist

Ask your heart if any of these sound familiar:

• Swayed by the Other’s Mood: If they are in a bad mood, you think it’s your fault and desperately try to please them.
• Putting Yourself Last: You always prioritize their convenience over your own plans or desires.
• Attracted to "Pitiable People": You feel a sense of mission to "change" someone who has problems.
• Blurred Boundaries: You feel the other person’s pain as if it were your own, even though their problems belong to them.

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🌸 Steps to Direct "Love" Toward Yourself

The most important thing in breaking free from codependency is to shift your focus from the other person back to "yourself."

1. Just Noticing is Enough: Noticing that "Ah, I might be losing myself right now" is the first step toward change.
2. Practice "Separation of Tasks": The other person's mood or failures belong to them. Try putting down the burden of thinking, "I have to do something about it."
3. Remember What You "Like": What do you want to eat today? What did you really want to do? Practice making "self-initiated" decisions starting with small things.

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✨ Confirming Soul Boundaries with Tarot

When a relationship becomes too intense, it can be hard to tell where you end and the other person begins. In such times, Tarot cards can objectively reflect the "current energy state of the two of you."

• "What lesson does this relationship hold for me right now?"
• "What do I need to do to shine as myself now?"

By receiving messages from the cards, you can find hints to untangle the knots and find a comfortable sense of distance.

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In Closing

Loving someone is wonderful, but never forget to love yourself even more. When you can stand on your own feet and smile as yourself, your relationships with those around you will transform into something healthier and happier.

If your current relationships are painful and you can't see an exit, rely on Aries Yoko. Together with the Tarot, I will work hard to help you find the way back to being the "protagonist of your own life."

Come visit my divination room anytime through the button below!