Taking Control of Your Calm: Simple "Anger Management" Tips You Can Start Today

Hi there! I'm Aries Yoko, your fortune teller and psychological counselor.

"I lost my temper and said something I shouldn't have..." "I can't stop feeling irritated, and I can't sleep at night."

Do you ever feel exhausted from being swung around by your own "anger"? Anger management isn't about forcibly suppressing your rage; it's about "learning to get along with your anger and choosing the appropriate way to express it." Today, I’ll teach you three steps to help yourself when you feel that spark of irritation.

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⏳ Step 1: Weather the Magic "6 Seconds"

It is said that the peak of an angry emotion lasts only about "6 seconds." If you can get through these 6 seconds, the rational part of your brain starts to function, allowing you to make calm judgments.

• Take one deep breath: Inhale through your nose and exhale slowly and thinly through your mouth.
• Count in your head: Just focusing on numbers like 1, 2, 3... is okay.
• Leave the spot: Simply standing up and saying, "I'm going to the restroom," is an extremely effective method.

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💭 Step 2: Notice the True Identity of "Should"

Whenever we feel anger, there is always a personal rule hidden behind it: "Someone should do this" or "This should be that way."

"People should be on time," "They should treat things more carefully," "They should sense how I feel"... Anger wells up when these "shoulds" are betrayed. However, everyone has their own set of rules. Just noticing, "Oh, my internal 'should' was just triggered," will make the thorns of your anger a bit rounder.

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📝 Step 3: Give Your Anger a Temperature

Imagine a "thermometer" from 0 to 10 and give your anger a score.

• 1–3 points: Slight irritation (to the extent you can forget it quickly).
• 4–6 points: Anger where you feel you want the other person to improve something.
• 7 points or more: Intense rage that feels like it’s about to explode.

By objectively assigning a score, your brain switches to analysis mode, preventing you from being swallowed by the emotion.

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✨ Ask the Tarot for the "True Feelings" Behind the Anger

Actually, anger is a "secondary emotion." Beneath it lies a purer "primary emotion" like "I felt sad," "I wanted to be understood," or "I was anxious."

What is the true cause of your anger that you haven't even noticed yourself? In times like these, I recommend drawing a Tarot card to peek into the true feelings at the bottom of your heart. When you understand your true intentions, the energy used to blame others transforms into the power to heal yourself.

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In Closing

Anger is proof that you are trying to cherish yourself. So, please don't think you're "bad" for getting angry. You just need to gradually find your own way to calm down.

If you have a problem like "I just can't stop being irritated with a specific person," I, Aries Yoko, can help decode the hints within that relationship through Tarot. Let me help you spend your days more lightly and with a smile.