No More Endurance, No More Conflict: Master "Assertive" Communication to Value Yourself and Others

Hi there! I'm Aries Yoko, your fortune teller and psychological counselor.

"I'm afraid of being disliked, so I end up saying yes to everything." "I get frustrated and end up speaking harshly, then I regret it later."

Do you ever suffer from such extreme swings in your communication? I want you to know about a concept called "Assertive." It's not about putting yourself last, nor is it about dominating others. It's about "equal dialogue with mutual respect."

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💬 Which Type Are You? Three Communication Styles

To understand assertiveness, first check which pattern you tend to fall into:

1. Non-Assertive (Passive) Type: The "I'll just endure it" type who swallows their true feelings. Since you aren't cherishing yourself, your heart will eventually get exhausted.
2. Aggressive Type: The type who intimidates or blames others to get their way. Even if things go as planned temporarily, trust relationships will break down.
3. Assertive Type: The type who expresses their feelings honestly while also listening firmly to the other person's side until the end. This is the ideal, mature form of communication.

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🌿 The Magic of the "DESC Method" for Being Assertive

When you don't know how to convey your message, these four steps (DESC Method) are very helpful:

1. D (Describe): Convey objective facts. Say, "I was just asked to do an urgent task," describing the situation exactly as it is.
2. E (Express): Convey your feelings or opinions. Use "I-statements" like, "I want to cooperate, but I feel that it's a bit difficult with my current schedule."
3. S (Specify): Make a specific proposal. Offer a solution like, "I can handle it if it's by tomorrow; how does that sound?"
4. C (Consequences): Convey the outcome. Provide a vision for the future, such as "Then I can finish it meticulously (Positive)" or "If it's by today, mistakes might occur (Negative)."

By doing this, you can smoothly deliver your "NO" or your "request" without rejecting the other person.

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✨ When Lost for Words, Ask the Cards for "Mental Space"

To speak assertively, it's very important to have room in your heart. However, when human relationships are tense, it's hard to stay calm.

In times like those, draw a Tarot card and peek into your current mental state.

• "Where is the boundary I truly want to protect?"
• "What kind of energy am I about to throw at the other person?" Receiving objective advice from the cards will mysteriously calm your heart, and assertive words will start to come to you naturally.

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In Closing

Assertiveness is not a technique for winning an argument. It is a loving determination that says, "I cherish myself, and I cherish you too."

If there's someone you're particularly bad at dealing with and you find yourself at a loss for words, come talk to Aries Yoko. Together with the Tarot, I'll work hard to find hints for a way of communicating that lets you be yourself without overextending!